Can You Believe ... I Now Got a Message From A ... Walrus

I have to translate its barks ... and I can't find a walrus translator ... so it will be a few hours. I'm going to take myself off to the Central Park Zoo and see if one of the Walruses there will do me a favor.

I'll get back to you ... meanwhile ... say a little prayer for me ... in case I look very tempting to Walruses.

Of course, there were no Walruses in Central Park but I did run over to the Museum of Natural History, where I found a couple of them ... strangely still but somehow I got the translation ... I can't believe I'm having a conversation with something this big.

I'd like to introduce myself to you guys. Your blog is swell, I mean really literature, if you get my drift.

I glommed onto your blog, but since I'm no expert on this computer stuff (definition of expert: ex = has been and spurt - a drip under pressure) I thot I'd like to make connection wid yous if dat's all roit.

My name's Walrus on account of my moustaches. They are magnificent, if I do say so myself. And when I bark, well you guys haven't heard the like. Goes for miles and people keep their distance. Some say it's because of my bad breath. Hey, I ain't got no bad breath, It's just I eat fish and sea stuff which accounts for my shiny coat. Oooh, do the humans love to stroke me, when I let 'em - which is never.

I love to bask in the sun on the rocks. No that isn't a drink, it's a location, and as they say in the southern part of what they call California, it's "location, location, location. " and I've got it made. I live in heaven on earth and have the most wonderful stars to look at at night. Makes me want to sing. I might compose a little song for you in your honor if you'd like. Gotta go now, there's a school of smelt which I can even smell a mile off.

Wishing you the best with your new food Belle (we have bells where I live too - they're called buoys) and Mystical I hear you're a real humdinger as are you Belle. It's a pleasure to read your news.

Most sincerely, and please forgive my spelling, not my strong point.

Walrus
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So ... I had to answer ... I mean, wouldn't you? I emailed back and said ...


Hey ... Walrus. I'm absolutely speechless. You are one cool dude or dudette. Love to see a picture of you lulling on your back with your laptop on your tummy ... Wow!

But you have to tell me, and the world, whether you are a girl walrus or a guy. I wouldn't know where to look ... if you know what I mean.

When I look at your photo I say to myself, "Mystical, you better stand waaaay back when you talk to this dude ... cause you're itsy bitsy next to him/her."

Also, you need a name besides Walrus ... cause all walruses have that name and it's obvious to me that you ain't just any old Walrus. I've been thinking ... which I do constantly ... how about Russ or Wallie or Slim (that's my favorite ... it makes me smile).

Tell us more about you. I'll post it on my blog mysticalthenewyorkdog.com but you need to tell me whether you are a girl or boy, what you name is and how old (if you are a girl walrus, please forgive me that age question).

I'd say I"ll wait for you by the door ... but if you came into my building, on the Upper East Side, my doorman would freak out. Especially if you waddled in and said, in your really deep bark, I'M HERE TO SEE MYSTICAL" Besides, how would you fit in the elevator?

I'll think about you lulling around in the ocean (hey! do you ever go surfing? .... ah no ... on second thought I guess not.) Thanks for your note ... Herself and I loved it.

Mystical