Thursday, December 17, 2009

What Does This Dog Think About???

"What?" Herself asks me.

In other words, what do I want or what am I thinking of?

I just know she's wondering to herself, what's going on in that dog's head.

Well ... I'll tell you ... some of it. Not all ... a girl should always be a little mysterious.

I think pretty much like you do. Even when I'm sleeping ... I'm dreaming ... and in color. Mostly I'm running after some four-legged creature ... or, if it's a nightmare, it's running after me. That's usually why I'm so tired in the morning and have to sleep in ... too much running around during the night.

As to daytime thoughts ... well in my house, which is Herself's house, when I'm not thinking of eating, or playing ... I think BIG thoughts.

Like ... what is Rocko, the Boston Terrier neighbor of mine, doing? I have to admit, I am fascinated with him. Don't know why. We're completely opposite. He's a rake, brawny and strong. I am delicate, sophisticated and a thinker. I don't think Rocko has deep thoughts ... ever. He's not concerned with the economy or global warming or emails saying it's all a big con, or the poll numbers of Barack or Sarah or Nancy. I just know he's not having those thoughts. He doesn't listen to 60's R&R, (although I must admit, sometimes I leave the room when Herself has that playing) Rocko probably listens to Jay Z (which would explain a lot).

I run down the hallway, like Rita Haywood flipping her air in "Gilda". He comes charging down the hallway like a mini-truck. We're completely different ... so why ... why? ... why am I still thinking about him?

Maybe that's what I'm mulling over when Herself looks at me and says "What???" "What's going on in that mind of yours?"

I'll wait for you by the door ... Christmas is coming ... I'm gonna lay here and think about that.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Vets Are Better Docs Than Docs for Humans

He called! Can't get over it.

My Vet, Doctor Bob, just called Herself to ask how I am. Having him check in from afar and not having to go to his office ... that worked out perfectly for me. I heard Herself say when she got off the phone, "When does my Doctor call me to ask how I am? Never", she responded to her own question.

But Doctor Bob called me. Does that make me real important? You bet. How come dog docs are more attentive than human ones???

I heard Herself say ... "Well, her eye is open wide, but it is still red around the outside". Then she said a lot of Oh's and Ok's. Sounded good to me.

And, just between you and me ... I feel a lot better. My eye doesn't hurt .... AND ... I don't have to wear that stupid collar any more.

AND ... I can now go back to be my sweet, adorable self again and not be as cranky as I've been since this happened.

So, I'm hanging by the door, waiting for you ... with both eyes open wide.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

This Maltese Has A Corneal Ulcer.

I have an ulcer.

I always thought one got ulcers from stress. I live in New York City where 'stress' is normal ... like breathing. Do you know how stressful it is to walk down the street, to avoid icky things on the sidewalk, 4-legged monsters coming toward you, humans wanting to touch you, saying things like, "Oh, how adooorable you are". Puleese! I know I'm adorable, but I don't know you ... and just between you and me, you're not so adorable.

Sorry about that. I'm really cranky, 'cause I don't feel well.

Well, it's not that kind of ulcer. Actually, it is something on my right eye. I don't know how it got there but I sure wish it would hurry up and go away.

We, Herself, AuntJ and me ... I?... me? ... I don't know which word to use, human English is not my first language ... anyway, we went to the Vet on Thursday, at the end of the day.

First let me say this about going to the Vet ... I HATE IT!!!!

I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!!!!

I WISH I WERE ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE WHOLE PLANET THAN AT THE VETS!!!!

But, Herself said "we must go, your eye is all red and you keep closing it to a little slit". Well, of course, I kept it closed ... it hurts.

Just between you and me ... we animals don't let on that we are injured or hurting in some way, because in the jungle, you don't want another animal, bigger than you, to know that you are vulnerable, so ... NO CRYING!!!! Otherwise, you'll be eaten. So, mantenga la vostra bocca chiusa.
(Hint: shut up.)

I was not cooperative. If I could have flown ... I would have flown out of there with my wings flapping ... but not being a bird and without wings and Herself, AuntJ, Robert the Vet, and his assistant all holding me ... I was completely at their mercy. (By the way, it took all of them to hold one 4lb little Maltese). Big deal, right? Sorry, I'm still cranky.

He dropped things in my eyes, three different things ... then he pronounced, "She has an ulcer on her eye" and showed everyone in the room my eye's inner sanctum, using a purple light thingie. Gee, I wonder if they were able to see into my soul? Hope not, that's a private part of me.

OK ... so I have to get medicine in my eye four times a day and pain medication once a day for a week. I have to wear a stupid, uncomfortable collar to keep me from rubbing my eye. One thing's for sure, Vogue won't be photographing me for the next cover ... with this gross thing on. Anne Wintour ... don't bother to call!

I'll let you know how things go ... I'm sleeping more ... because of this really swell medicine ... but I can't wait till I feel my usual, adorable self - sans ulcer.

So, I'm sorry but I won't be waiting by the door for you for a few days. But the very first day I feel better ... you can bet I'll be there, anticipating your arrival - seeing clearly into the future.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Meeting a Great Dane and other LARGE Dogs


I am MIGHTY. My personality is HUGH. There are other dogs bigger than I am ... actually ... almost every single dog in the New York is bigger than I am. Like this guy to your right. Don't be swayed by his "sweet" look in this photo ... he could kill me.

Still ... I don't care how BIG he is.

"Huh!" you say. "What are you talking about? You're teeny tiny, 4lbs soaking wet" (now that's a sight you may not want to see). OK, I know all those things, after all it's my body ... I can twist around and do things to myself that no Great Dane can do, but that doesn't mean in my mind's eye and in my heart of hearts, I don't think of myself as BIG and MIGHTY.

What's the big deal ... what can a Great Dane do? Take fewer steps walking down the street than I have to, stand taller and see things almost like a human rather than see lots of feet and wheels and things from my level, (although the interesting smells are closer to my nose than his), all the while getting some degree of respect solely because he's BIG.

Well, I'm BIG, too.

When I'm out and about, and a Great Dane's walking down the street towards me, instantly he hears from me. I bark in his face, I tell him, "don't even think about looking at me with that look ... I know you can eat me with one bite, but I'm going to play mind games with you and make you think that approaching me or my human ... might be a really bad idea".

And ... every single time ... they simply look away and continue lumbering down the street. I am MIGHTY. Every dog in my neighborhood knows not to mess with Mystical. I think they've spread the word, bark by bark, uptown and down, Eastside and West.

I'm alfa dog ... hear me roar!!!!

I'll wait for you by the door, while I dream about conquering all of dogdom.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Cousins Came to Town

This was a day that I want to remember when I dream, instead of chasing dogs or even worse, being chased. It was a day that stands out from the others. You know most of my days are pretty ordinary. I get up, eat, play, sit with Herself while she works, go out, come back, sometimes work on my blog, eat and then insist that Herself goes to sleep ... because I CAN'T SLEEP UNLESS SHE IS SLEEPING.

But, yesterday, was really special. I want to write it down, so that I can come back and read it and remember it all and smile.

Herself's and AuntJ's cousins came to town ... all the way from ... Newfoundland. Now, honestly, I didn't know any other place other than York, Pa, where I was born, and big, wonderful Manhattan, where I live. Oh, yes and various other little day-trip places that I go with Herself. But lately, I've been hearing Herself talk about her cousins from Newfoundland. I should Google map it, after I finish writing this posting, and see where it is. Maybe I'll even zoom in from the satellite to see it ... that's so much fun. ZOOOOM!!!!!!

Anyway ... there they were, Lorraine and her two daughters, Wendy and Jeannie. I knew right away that I was going to love them. They were swell! I wanted to be on my best behavior you know, so I was very quiet at first. Especially in church. Yeh! we all went to Church after all it was Sunday. You know, I love the music, and I'm in my bag humming away with the choir but otherwise being very quiet.

We had a wonderful day in my neighborhood of the Upper East Side ... I'll tell you more after my nap.

Here I go, curled around myself by the door, taking a few winks ... later, guys!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dogs Love Easter Egg Contests, Too!

Gosh! I sure wish I was there with these guys. They are having so much fun.



After all that hiding, running, climbing and finding you must be pooped. So, come on over and hang out with me ... I'll wait for you by the door.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This Maltese's Suggestion of a Stimulus Bill

I listen. I listen when the TV and radio is on, and when Herself talks, either to someone else or just out loud to herself. Actually, the 'out loud to herself ' comments are the most interesting. She forgets I'm listening.

I'm hearing so much talk about a "stimulus bill". Can't figure out what is being stimulated ... or whether anything will be stimulated but I know what all those politicians can do to stimulate and give immediate relief.

Get your dog to lie down and ............................... stimulate his or her tummy with those fabulous circular movements. The dog will feel great (I know from personal experience) and you, the human, will feel good too.

I bet, that will be the most successful stimulus plan offered. $1,000,000,000,000 saved. And it would cost absolutely nothing. Hey, I wouldn't mind if Herself gave me a trillion tummy massages ... but she better get started.

I'll wait for you by the door contemplating all that stimuli.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Mystical's New Years Resolutions

Well ... I've taken some time to decide on my new year resolutions. It hasn't been easy. I've never done resolutions before. I've heard Herself talk about resolutions but then, I never heard about them again until the next year.

But, I'm different. When I decide something ... like, I want to play or I want to go to bed ... I don't stop until I get what I want. So, resolutions are the same thing ... decide something and then get it done.

The thing is, I wanted to add one resolution to the list that I knew I would DEFINITELY get done ... an easy one if you would. See if you can guess, which one on my list that is.

Mystical's Resolutions:

1. I will be less demanding of Herself when she is busy working. No whining, no begging, no pushing, no insistence. Just leave her alone. Lie down and wait.

2. I will agree to go to the dentist. I've heard horror stories about dentists but I think I need to go ... I even know that without hearing Herself say it.

3. I will make two new friends this year. I must grow my human social network. As it is, it is a fearlessly loyal and devoted one but I would like to make more human friends this year. Maybe I'll think about going on Facebook, or put a video of me on Youtube, looking adorable, doing something really amazing. Maybe some tweets.

4. I'll try not to run around in circles when I'm excited ... it makes me dizzy.

5. I'll be more open to eating new types of apples. My preference has always been Fuji apples. But I will broaden my taste buds by asking Herself to buy all kinds.

Whew!!! That's a lot of resolutions. Were you able to pick out the "easy" one?

I hope we all manage to do at least some of our resolutions but if not, don't be hard on yourself ... there's always next year.

I'll wait for you be the door.