This Maltese Has A Corneal Ulcer.

I have an ulcer.

I always thought one got ulcers from stress. I live in New York City where 'stress' is normal ... like breathing. Do you know how stressful it is to walk down the street, to avoid icky things on the sidewalk, 4-legged monsters coming toward you, humans wanting to touch you, saying things like, "Oh, how adooorable you are". Puleese! I know I'm adorable, but I don't know you ... and just between you and me, you're not so adorable.

Sorry about that. I'm really cranky, 'cause I don't feel well.

Well, it's not that kind of ulcer. Actually, it is something on my right eye. I don't know how it got there but I sure wish it would hurry up and go away.

We, Herself, AuntJ and me ... I?... me? ... I don't know which word to use, human English is not my first language ... anyway, we went to the Vet on Thursday, at the end of the day.

First let me say this about going to the Vet ... I HATE IT!!!!

I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!!!!

I WISH I WERE ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE WHOLE PLANET THAN AT THE VETS!!!!

But, Herself said "we must go, your eye is all red and you keep closing it to a little slit". Well, of course, I kept it closed ... it hurts.

Just between you and me ... we animals don't let on that we are injured or hurting in some way, because in the jungle, you don't want another animal, bigger than you, to know that you are vulnerable, so ... NO CRYING!!!! Otherwise, you'll be eaten. So, mantenga la vostra bocca chiusa.
(Hint: shut up.)

I was not cooperative. If I could have flown ... I would have flown out of there with my wings flapping ... but not being a bird and without wings and Herself, AuntJ, Robert the Vet, and his assistant all holding me ... I was completely at their mercy. (By the way, it took all of them to hold one 4lb little Maltese). Big deal, right? Sorry, I'm still cranky.

He dropped things in my eyes, three different things ... then he pronounced, "She has an ulcer on her eye" and showed everyone in the room my eye's inner sanctum, using a purple light thingie. Gee, I wonder if they were able to see into my soul? Hope not, that's a private part of me.

OK ... so I have to get medicine in my eye four times a day and pain medication once a day for a week. I have to wear a stupid, uncomfortable collar to keep me from rubbing my eye. One thing's for sure, Vogue won't be photographing me for the next cover ... with this gross thing on. Anne Wintour ... don't bother to call!

I'll let you know how things go ... I'm sleeping more ... because of this really swell medicine ... but I can't wait till I feel my usual, adorable self - sans ulcer.

So, I'm sorry but I won't be waiting by the door for you for a few days. But the very first day I feel better ... you can bet I'll be there, anticipating your arrival - seeing clearly into the future.